To the Woman Quietly Running on Empty: The Impact Series featuring Jivi

Sometimes, as editors, the best thing we can do is get out of the way. When we sat down with Jivi Saran, a member of our board, we expected to write a standard impact profile about her leadership and dedication. But the raw text she shared with us was so deeply moving, so achingly honest, that we realized any polishing or restructuring on our part would only diminish its power.

Jivi’s words don’t just tell a story; they offer a mirror to every woman who has ever forgotten that she is allowed to have needs, too. We chose to leave her text completely untouched because its strength lies in its vulnerability. It is a direct invitation into her heart.

Here is Jivi, in her own words.

I Came to Give. I Stayed to Receive.

The Call to Serve

When I joined the Be Embraced board, I told myself I was there to serve. I had spent decades in executive leadership, strategy, and organizational development. I knew how to build things — institutions, frameworks, teams. I knew how to get things done. What the organization needed, I believed, was someone like me: capable, experienced, ready to contribute. I had come to know the mission all too well, Women walking alone. Women carrying too much in silence. Women who had forgotten, or never been told, that they were allowed to need something too. I understood that mission intellectually. I was moved by it. I showed up for it.

What I did not understand yet was how personally I understood it.

I had spent years building — a career, a reputation, a practice, a body of work. I had mastered the art of competence. Of being the person in the room who had the answer, who could hold the vision, who could execute when others could not. From the outside, everything looked like momentum.

From the inside, I was exhausted in a way I did not have language for. Not failing. Not falling apart. Just running on a kind of quiet empty that I had normalized so completely I no longer recognized it as a problem.

The Question That Shifted Everything

The shift came in a conversation with a friend. We were talking — the way women do when the guard comes down — and she stopped me mid-sentence and asked something I was not ready for.

“What if you were the very person Be Embraced is trying to help right now? What if?”

I did not have an answer. I remember the silence that followed — not the uncomfortable kind, but the kind that tells you something true has just been said and your whole system is catching up to it.

Because she was right. And some part of me had known it for a long time.

Finding a Place to Rest

What cracked open in that conversation was not weakness. It was honesty. The admission of something I had been quietly carrying for longer than I realized: the guilt of struggling when you are supposed to be strong. The shame of not being able to do it all when doing it all is your identity.

I had spent so many days feeling guilty. Telling myself I should be able to handle this. Asking myself: how do I tell anyone I cannot do something? I was the one people came to. I was not supposed to be the one who needed help.

That question — what if you were the one? — gave me permission I did not know I was waiting for. Permission to stop performing okayness. Permission to be held by the very community I had come to hold.

The board I had joined to serve was also, quietly, exactly where I needed to be. The mission I had come to steward was also mine to receive.

Redefining Self-Worth within the Circle

My relationship with self-worth has changed in a way I did not anticipate. For most of my life, my worth was tied to my output — what I produced, who I helped, how well I performed under pressure. That is a real form of contribution. But it is also a relentless standard, because it means your value is always contingent on what you do next.

Be Embraced — and the women in this community — gave me a different experience. One where I was valued not for what I was delivering, but simply for who I was. Where I could say “I am struggling today” and be met not with alarm, but with recognition. You are not alone. You belong here. We see you.

That changed how I lead. And it changed how I rest. I no longer carry as much alone — not because my responsibilities have shrunk, but because I have finally learned to let a circle hold some of the weight.

A Message for the Highly Capable Woman

If you are a woman in BC right now who is capable and accomplished and quietly running on empty — I want to ask you the same question my friend asked me:

What if you were the very person Be Embraced is trying to help right now?

The guilt you feel about struggling? It is not proof that you are weak. It is proof that you have been holding too much for too long without a place to set it down. The fear of admitting you cannot do everything? That fear does not mean you have failed. It means you are human.

You do not have to earn your place in this community by having everything together. You belong here exactly as you are.

If I had to describe the impact Be Embraced has had on my life in one word, it would be this:

Permission.

There is a profound, collective healing that happens when we finally allow ourselves to step out of the role of the provider and into the space of the receiver. Jivi’s journey is a beautiful reminder that our worth is never tied to how much we can carry for others, but in the simple, sacred fact of who we are.

We know there are so many women in our community holding a similar truth in silence—women who are used to being the strong ones, but are quietly running on empty. If Jivi's words touched a chord within you, please know that your story matters, too. We invite you to share your journey with us, whenever you are ready. Whether you need a safe space to set your heavy load down or a circle to hold you while you rest, a seat at our table is always waiting.

What Is Your Story?

Helen’s journey reminds us that while we may feel the need to "shrink" or hide our vulnerabilities, we don't have to navigate our challenges in the shadows. Has Be Embraced helped you feel seen? Whether it was a moment of recognition at an event, the warmth of a "soul family" when you felt alone, or a new sense of self-worth that gave you strength, we want to hear from you.

Sharing your story helps other women realize they aren't walking alone either. Don't worry about "perfect" writing—just speak from the heart. We are here to help you shape your story to inspire others. Click here to share your experience with us, or share your story by email: hello@beembraced.org.